When It’s Time to Fledge (what do you care, if it was all worth it?)

Greetings Good Listeners,

Today I want to share with you a complicated conversation about tough love.

But before I do that, I need to briefly switch the channel from Magical Relality TV for the Revolution, to a real time livestream on none other than Mama Bird.

So, I’m just adjusting the camera a little bit – ah, there she is.

[sound: switching the camera // sounds of morning birds]

Mama Bird wakes up this glorious good mourning, yawning and stretching, basking in the sweet glow of the rising sun. Mama Bird cares for her strong and sturdy, bountiful nest here, in the East.

The East is the part of the Altar where we lay down rest, deep in the bones, and come home to sincere peace in the mind and in the heart. Mama bird overflows with gratitude, that she is alive today, and that she gets to do this very important work for the world – tending to her nest.

Mama Bird settles into the heart of the home, snuggling down into her nest bowl, scooching back and forth to find the perfect spot, when suddenly —

[morning birds sound stops]

What the hell?

Mama Bird stops in her tracks, taken aback at the sight of Little Bird hanging out on the left side of the nest.

Oh My God! You’re Back Again!

Let me re-mind you, Good Listeners, the first time we met this duo, Mama Bird and Little Bird, was over a year ago when I published a podcast episode titled “the crazy planet.”

This is why we find Mama Bird quite frustrated in this moment…because we’ve already been through this.

In that last episode, Mama Bird engaged a great deal of negotiation with Little Bird. They went back and forth, Mama chased Little with a stick, it was tiring. They came to the conclusion that it was indeed time for Little Bird to leave the nest. More importantly, Little Bird agreed.

Hence Mama Bird’s frustration at the sight of Little Bird rummaging around her kitchen, searching for snacks.

Because, we’ve already told this story. We cast the associated spell. We travelled the associated underworld. We retrieved the medicine, integrated the lessons, we even frolicked through a few Time Loops, just for shits and giggles.

Why are you still here?

Little Bird flutters to the center, flapping her wings directly in front of Mama Bird.

Do you know what happened to me last year?

How would I know? I may be hella psychic, but I can’t read your mind. There’s a difference.

Fine, then.

Little Bird flies to the couch and perches on the ledge, standing tall. She begins a Great Soliloquy aka an act of speaking one’s thoughts out loud by oneself, regardless of whether or not you have any listeners.

It was 10 minutes into epic poem, aka a long narrative poetic device, typically recounting extraordinary deeds and adventures of a heroic figure, often involving supernatural elements and significant cultural or historical events.

She is about to get to the best part, when she notices, Mama Bird is about to fall over, ready to fall asleep.

Oh sorry, am I boring you? Are the details of my life story – the only life that I have to live, in the only time I have to spend, about the only me I’ll ever be – is that too overwhelming for you?

Girl, you know I don’t have time for your Mahabhatara today.

What do you want?

You are the one who made contact. You’re here for a reason. If you have something to say, say something important.

Fine then.

Little Bird proceeds to tell Mama Bird about an excruciatingly horrible thing that happened to her.

I’m not just telling you about a horrible thing that happened to me out there.

It happened to me right here, before I left. That’s right. It happened to me in your nest bowl. It happened right under your belly.

Whoa. Mama Bird takes stalk of this new information.

A horrible thing happened to her Sweet Little Little Bird in her household, under her watch, under her jurisdiction, while she was brooding her young.

Brooding, by the way, is when a Big Bird covers her babies with her belly, just as she did while she incubated them as eggs. That’s why we call this part of the belly the “Brooding Patch.” After they hatch, she still covers them – keeping them warm, especially in the first few weeks of their new life, especially if the weather is treacherous.

Mama Bird lets the truth sink in. Then she speaks.

Little Bird. It’s not my job to feed you. It’s not my job to nurse your wounds.

What do you want from me? Bandaids? I’m sorry, I’m all out. Some kid used them for his weird art project.

Look. You think I like hearing about what happened to you in the nest bowl?

Of course I hate what happened to you in the nest bowl.

But the fact remains that…you’re spending so much of your precious time explaining everything that happened to you and I just…I don’t care!

I don’t care.

I don’t care what happened to you under my belly. I don’t care what happened to you under my roof. And frankly, I don’t give a shit about what happened to you in the nest bowl!

You know why, I don’t care, Little Bird? Because – you don’t care.

You don’t care what happened to you amongst your siblings in the brooding patch of my underbelly. You don’t care about all the horrible things that happened to you in your last 40 years of service, forward and backward.

You are at peace with yourself. You’re at peace with your past. And not because I told you to be. But, because…it’s dripping all over you. I can’t ignore it, nobody can.

That light is so bright, I can’t see nothin else when I’m looking at you, it’s like staring at the Sun.

And the paradox is, you’ll never be seen, by anyone, unless and until you learn to embrace that light and own who you are.

Why would you care about any of the fucked up shit that happened to you in your abolitionist, decolonizing de-castifying de-religiousizing real life version of the Mahabarata?

What do you care, if it was all worth it?

And no, I don’t mean it was all worth it like some incorporeal platitude, like oh it’s okay, I don’t mind all these shitty experiences, I got the spiritual lesson…

No, I mean it was worth it, like the life you made for yourself is actually REAL.

Like the livelihood you want for yourself, AND for the planet is here. It’s healthy, and none of it is a lie.

Why do you care about how others have wronged you, when good love is right here, right next to you, holding your hand and touching your heart, every waking dreaming minute of the day.

What do you care about those shitty experiences if we’re in a world now where nobody, and I mean none of us, are sentenced to endure the wretched in order to get to the divine.

In this ecosystem, we could just have it?

When the ecosystem you sacrificed everything for is alive and well, and everyone here is fed.

What does it matter, Little Bird?

And what are you gonna do? Get lost in the memory of your birthing pains?

Or just be present here and now, and live.

Give and Receive care as you will, as you must – and keep flapping those dang wings. Make noise. But don’t be noisy. Because it does still take some practise, when it’s time to fledge.

I don’t care about what happened to you under my belly, because YOU don’t care. I’m still your Mama Bird.

I care about the things you care about. If you actually cared about this, of course I would care too.

Of course I would step in and support you, if this was a thing that actually needed support in your life.

I ain’t stepping in to support a ghost, a mirage. You think I got time for that? I got my own business!

Mama Bird swats Little Bird with a broom. Little Bird makes a dance out of it.

You don’t care about picking at your scabs. No judgement toward those that do. It’s just that it doesn’t matter to you. It’s not a worthy way to spend YOUR time.

What is worthy to you? Because, I see you, Little Bird. You care very, very deeply. And very strongly. What happened to you in your past, is not it.

Whatever it is, I probably care about it for myself too.

So…what is it?

[Shaunga chases away a pigeon that landed on her balcony in real time. We hear her say get outta here! along with the door opening and closing.]

When it’s time to fledge…

[music: “Rising Beyond”]

the thing that used to take care of you will stop taking care of you

the thing that used to feed you will stop feeding you

the thing that used to patch up your wounds will stop patching up your wounds

your tried and true tools you used to patch up your wounds will now be used for a different purpose: to make art by some weirdo nerdy neurodivergent kid who goes non verbal for months at a time

the nest that held you through such formative years will still be here, but you have to stand awkwardly at the edge and practise your unique wing flapping technology, and prepare to find your own way in life

the nest that raised you is not your home base or landing ground anymore, even if you haven’t quite yet left

when it’s time to fledge, the things you used to care about, you don’t care about anymore

the things that used to capture your attention and absorb all your energy, they just…don’t

the thing that happened in the underbelly of this divine world – you know that plutonian shit that everyone pretends they have no idea about even though everyone saw it in plain sight

the things that happened in the underbelly of a community, a family, amongst your peers, your siblings, spiritual or otherwise

that shit that used to be your antagonist, tucked under the belly of a brooding mother, in that safe, squishy place, your old antagonist snuggled up next to you and took up so much space.

There wasn’t another option – this brood was your whole world. The antagonist was the most important thing to fight. But it’s not anymore because you grew up…you’re outgrown…you’re bigger than that now.

Let the double or triple meaning sink in: you’re bigger than that.

This isn’t about taking the high road, you actually just don’t have a choice.

[music fades out]

I mean, you do, but it would be excruciatingly difficult and exhausting to try and fit yourself into an environment where the same old shit continues to be the biggest thorn in your ass.

It’s like a giant dog trying really hard to sit in a very small doggy bed. You know, they keep circling and circling around…finally they sit down but their whole ass is basically just on the floor. What’s the point of sitting in a doggy bed if your entire ass is on the floor??

Fighting the same old antagonist is exhausting like that, it’s really hard and it’s really inconvenient.

But I guess that makes sense for you, because you are so used to choosing the hardest puzzle, aren’t you.? You keep reaching for the puzzle on the shelf that not only, like, level 9 grand high witch brain teaser, but you also know it has 3 missing pieces.

You KNOW it’s a lost cause. You know it’s a dead end. You KNOW it’ll only end in heartache. But you spend all your time on it anyway, giving yourself a migraine trying to complete it every time, when you KNOW there’s 3 missing pieces pieces! Why you gotta do that?!

For people out there right now who are like – oohh why do things have to be so harddd, why is it so hard for things to just be easy – DIAGNOSE THE RIGHT PROBLEM.

It’s actually really easy for things to be easy right now, but you keep choosing the really hard puzzle. That’s your problem. Why do you like this puzzle so much, when it has 3 missing pieces? Solve that problem, and you’re off to the races.

When it’s time to fledge – the thing you used to care about the most, you realize you don’t care about it so much anymore, and maybe you never did.

When it’s time to fledge you’ll be asked to feel deeply in your heart and tell yourself the truth.

What actually matters to you right now, as you head into the next chapter of your life?

What do you care about?

You’ll have to feel it in the body. You’ll have to look to the realm of the South. You’ll feel it like something tangible holding your hand, touching your heart and moving you to tears.

Not tears like boo boo goo goo ga ga wah wah hang it on the fridge, I mean tears – like, you’re alive. You made it through the storm.

You’re here. It’s real. And none of it is a lie.

[sounds of water]

Alright, let’s turn the channel back, over here. Right over here, on me.

[sound: the camera switches]

Let’s do some Writer-Director Commentary and pull out some medicine.

Who is Mama Bird in the world of Magical Reality TV for the Revolution? I could give you a lot of different interpretations, but for today let’s just say she is Pluto in Capricorn.

As we know, Pluto spent the last 15 years in Capricorn, and recently moved signs, now fully nestled in Aquarius for the next 20 years. It’s a big deal whenever Pluto moves signs, as this indcates a huge generational shift.

This is where we are in cosmic history. Not only has Pluto changed signs, we have multiple outer planets aka Otherworldly Giants changing signs.

This is not only a generational shift, this is a a gargantuous shift in Ereas. We are the Ones holding the responsibility to collectively steward AND experience this shift.

We, as a species, are learning how to properly close the last chapter and leave the nest. We are learning how to be in good relationship to everything that held us and raised us, underbelly and all. We are all learning how to fledge.

If you were to go back and listen to today’s story about Mama Bird and Little Bird, or the one from a year ago, how would the story change for you if you understood the Mama Bird as Pluto Capricorn?

How would the story land for you, if you interpreted Mama Bird as the mother of the last 15 year chapter of your life, and the mother of this previous era of time that we are all learning how to put to rest, in a good way.

[sounds of water fade away]

Pluto in Capricorn. She’s a tough cookie, huh? So, let’s talk about tough love.

What is tough love, if it isn’t wrapped up in white supremacist, capitalist, caste-ist, ableist, rape culture?

What if Tough Love is a sincere and sacred expression in the universe. What if Tough Love is a benevolent, primordial Ancestor? What if she’s not just benevolent…what if she’s a fiercely sincere, attentive, engaged, active ally, a good friend, and a constant daily presence?

Some may argue that if white supremacy and colonization and all the rest of it didn’t exist, there would be no need for Tough Love. What do you think? Do you agree with that?

When I study the story that I just wrote, it illuminates an answer to a question that I didn’t know I was asking. I gives me a very clear definition of what Tough Love is in a harmonious, thriving ecosystem. It’s as if I had spoken out loud that specific inquiry, which I didn’t, by the way.

Tough Love as an Ancestor says: I don’t give a shit about the things you’re crying yourself to sleep about everything night. I care about what YOU actually care about.

I’m not going to waste my time pacifying you, or humouring you when you’re caught up in shit that doesn’t actually move you. Why would I do that, just to be nice? That’s not real love.

I want to tell you a little story about a conversation I had with a good friend recently. We were talking about what we really need in life. When my friend told me their answer, I was like, wow that is such a beautiful intention. But it’s not something I would have automatically thought you need.

On the surface it looks like you already have it. And you do have it, in certain layers, but you want that thing on a deeper level now.

I think that also speaks to where we are in cosmic history, and what it means to fledge.

Yes, to fledge, to take that first flight off the nest does mean going higher. But it also means choosing a deeper experience of life. When you fly into the sky, you feel the depth of the world, in your body, in a way you never could while you were still on the nest.

The nest may have provided that thing for you, that you already have, but now you want it more deeply.

It’s not selfish. It doesn’t make you a better person to stay where you and just be grateful for what you already have.

It does, however, make you a better person to fly, to leave, to go higher and experience yourself and the world more deeply.

You’re a better person, not on the grounds of morality. But because you’re actually being honest about who you are, the size of your body, the time that we’re in, and the stewardship, the care, that we require in this moment.

How can you be a better person on the grounds of morality, if you’re doing nothing to care for who you and we are, honestly?

Be grateful for everything that raised you, yes, and also understand that it will make you a better person to realize a new depth.

Sometimes, it’s selfish to stay. If you stayed in a home that can no longer house you, all you would have are continuous complaints about the bullshit that happened in the underbelly while you were growing your wings.

When my friend told me this thing that they want more of for themselves, it took me for a pause. Because I had no idea that’s what they wanted.

I won’t tell you what they actually said just for privacy, but let’s make something up for the sake of conversation. Let’s say they wanted more friendship.

If they said, that’s what I need more of in life, sincere friendship.

It surprised me because I was like: you already have that, by your own definition.

Like, I always hear you talking about how amazing your friendships are, you have a genuine abundance here that you’re already aware of, and that you’re already in practise of constant appreciation.

But when my friend said this, I received it deeply. I didn’t get jealous, or judgemental, or resentful, like, Ohh, so your current friends aren’t enough for you, wwow.

That type of response didn’t even cross my mind, my heart or my energy field.

What I felt was one dominant energy…I’m trying to land in the right word, and I think that word is…reverence.

I felt reverence for the emergence of this deeper part of my friend, a part of them that wants more. Wants to be seen, known and touched more deeply. A part of them that deserves to be developed, deserves attention, and deserves care.

To speak out loud this part of them, in development, in my company is an act of vulnerability and trust that I don’t take for granted.

It’s an honour for me to hear you tell me what you care about. It’s a blessing to recieve the depth of honesty you’re allowing to come forward. Just to allow that is a huge accomplishment.

To know what someone needs is an honour, blessing and a responsibility. Not responsibility like moral obligation.

More like, when you witness someone speak out loud what they really care about, you’re witnessing their responsibility to themselves.

You’re witnessing the parts of their responsibility that might not be respected, or nurtured in many contexts. You’re witnessing a responisibility that, for whatever reason, felt it had to stay hidden for so long. You’re witnessing a part of their ecosystem that may have been attacked and antagonized in their previous life.

You’re witnessing something they care for that might have almost died.

What is our responsibility to a beloved, when we are given the gift of witnessing them straightforwardly naming their own sincere responsibilities?

I personally care that this part of my friend should be nurtured, held, seen, heard and reciprocated, in whatever phase of development it’s in.

Not because that’s the right thing to do for a friend. Not because I’m counting all the things that I’m gonna get out of it.

I care because, I love you…I love this sincere part of you that’s emerging. I want you to be who you are, and have what you need. And that doesn’t change, regardless of what I do or don’t do for you. It doesn’t change, even if I change myself in relationship to you.

That sounds like a definition of sincere friendship, doesn’t it?

And, if we’re paying attention – that sounds like Pluto in Capricorn. It sounds like Saturn – Capricorn’s ruling planet.

Saturn is an expression of our sincere responsibilities that stand the test of time.

Pluto is Death.

Pluto in Capricorn are the few small things that stay alive, that endure, that keep going, even after everything else has fallen apart.

I care about you, and your responsibility to yourself. That doesn’t change, regardless of how our relationship does.

I love what I said up there, that what you care about deserves reciprocity, no matter what phase of development it’s in.

If you say that you want success, and your definition of success is made from your depth of honesty, then I want you to have that right now, no matter what phase of development you’re in.

No matter where you are in your journey of nurturing and caring for your success.

This brings up a very interesting conversation about reciprocity. We think of reciprocity as the thing that comes at the end of something, right? You do something for someone, and then they pay you. Or you tell someone you’ll do something for them, and they pay you up front because they trust the end result.

That’s what they tell you in business coaching right – you have to sell your audience on the end result, and that’s why they’ll buy your shit. That’s how you get reciprocity up front.

Is that how reciprocity works in friendship?

The ancestral teachings in this story beg to differ.

The story is telling us here that the true nature of reciprocity isn’t bound to an end result. It’s not tied to any one phase of development. It’s tied to what you actually care about, in every phase of development.

It’s tied to what your responsibilities actually are to yourself.

Thus, the most challenging aspect of living according to principles and practices of sacred reciprocity, is discerning in any given moment what is and isn’t your responsibility to care for.

Say, are there any, like business models out there that function on the true nature of reciprocity? I don’t want friendships where I only get reciprocated after I’ve successfully accomplished my deliverables. I don’t want business to feel like that either.

Man. I wish we could just live in an economy that exchanges resources through principles and practices of Sacred Reciprocity. I wish there was an earth-honouring, cosmically inspired economy that more and more of us could opt into, and then our young people would be like – that’s what I wanna be when I grow up! I don’t wanna work for Hollywood! I wanna be a Planetary Artist in Residence! It would be so much more fulfilling to practise living like that, let alone run a business.

Earth’s Elder: Ugh. Alexis, I wish that someone would just get on that, already.

Earth’s Elder #2: I know David. Ugh! What a puzzler.

But hold on. What about the stage? Because over here at Otherworldly Giants, we practice ceremonial, celestial (sshhhh) musical theatre in craft, AND in life.

Reciprocity DOES come at the end of the show. The audience claps and cheers, you come back and take a second bow. You don’t get any of that until the end.

One of the rules of writing is that you must EARN your ending. You must engage proper storytelling technology throughout the whole journey, in order to successfully land your ending. Or else, you don’t move people. You don’t satisfy the room.

But hold on, okay. Is the applause actually reciprocity?

I mean, it is. But, no. Reciprocity is offered throughout the entire story. Reciprocity is audience engagement. You listen, you laugh, you cry, you make sounds, you think.

Your audience, they’re not watching you with their arms crossed, rolling their eyes in the 3^rd row waiting for you to fail – even though I literally have had those experiences as a stage performer…LOL.

A good audience isn’t expecting you to solve their problems or give them answers. They’re here because they want to listen and connect.

We don’t reciprocate the storyteller because she promises an outcome. We reciprocate throughout the whole process, because she’s showing us something real about who SHE is.

The story will tell you what the storyteller really cares about.

The story shows you what responsibility the storyteller is carrying – for herself, her lineages, and the world.

A story is made of the storyteller’s most sincere responsibilities coming forward that, for whatever reason, had to stay hidden for so long.

A story is her depth of self that yearns to be touched, and moved and held.

You don’t know what happened to that responsibility before she showed it to you. In her previous life, it may have been attacked, and antagonized in their last phase of life – you don’t know all the ways that it almost died, before getting here.

That’s probably why, out of anything and everything they could have told you about their life – they chose this. They chose to say something important.

As an audience, as a friend, what is our responsibility to a beloved who just told you what they care about?

What is our collective responsibility to the storyteller?

We don’t come to her for answers, or for deliverables. We don’t expect her to solve our problems. We come here because we want to be in relationship.

Because, when a story tells us what it really cares about, it moves us too. Our hands and hearts are touched. We feel it tangibly, in our body. We feel more like ourselves, and we remember more of what WE really care about.

And, that DOES solve our problems. It does give us the answers that we need.

What’s the truth about what art can do during times of genocide? What’s the role that art can play in a revolution?

Can we bring forward deeper definitions AND experiences of this question?

If we are here to re-mind ourselves, and humanity as a whole, of what we really care about as a species – doesn’t that make our contributions non-negotiable?

Doesn’t that make the storyteller worthy of our time?

But okay, so if reciprocity is given throughout the entire story, what’s the applause for, then?

Ah. It’s appreciation. It’s celebration.

What’s the difference between Reciprocity, Appreciation and Celebration? If these were all Ancestors in the Universe, with minds and hearts of their own, with important things to say, what would they say?

Appreciation and Celebration are essential parts of the ritual of storytelling and that means the storyteller inherently understands that landing the ending is not actually the end.

At the end of a story, you don’t just disappear. Okay?

You come back – for the bow. You stay there as long as the audience applauds and cheers for you. You do three encores if that’s what you need to do. If that’s what everyone needs to show their love and their grief for everything we just experienced together.

Yeah, Witches. I do do it for the applause. I do do it for the talk-back. The post-show mixer. The hugs and tears in the lobby. The chance to hear from audience members so they can tell you their thoughts and their questions. The Q&A where you divulge behind the scenes secrets of how the sausage was made, where you pull back the wizard’s curtain. Give people a chance to express themselves. Release. Breath.

Then, it’s the most important part. You go out for late night food with the people you made the story with, and you talk about everything.

At least that’s always been my favourite part. I am never complete without that.

It wasn’t enough for me to just tell you a story about a Mama Bird and a Little Bird.

[sounds of morning bird]

I needed to take you through my writer / director commentary. We needed to unlock the gems, the weapons, the offerings that never expire. The spiritual lessons and the principles of ancestral artistry.

We needed to do what we do here – Open Heart Surgery Storytelling. Now our collective experience of this small story, is so rich. And who the story is, is so Giant in all that it can offer, even as it is still learning how to fledge.

[music: “Rising Beyond”]

If you know me, you know how much I advocate for Reverence on the end of life journey. It’s what everything is for. It’s to Celebrate what you just did. To Celebrate what has Already Been Done.

This phase of development is our ability to appreciate our past. That doesn’t mean we condone everything that happened to us in our past. It just means that we receive it.

When we find out that Little Bird doesn’t care about the horrible things that happened to her in her past, what does she actually mean? Is she telling us that she doesn’t care about herself, she doesn’t care about her trauma, she doesn’t care about her healing, and she doesn’t care when horrible things happen to others either?

Or are we having a much deeper conversation?

If I could look back at this story I wrote, and discern one principle of Ancestral Artistry that is trying to come forward and show itself, what would it be?

I would say, that principle is “Appreciation is Paramount.” Or, “Celebration is King.”

But, my answers don’t have to be the same as yours – even when we’re studying the same story, even when that story is one that I wrote.

Super Nerds, here’s your study question – go back into the story, and find one for yourself. Find a principle of ancestral artistry that is emerging for you through this story. That is a reflection of your responsibility to yourself. One that is an expression of what you really care about.

When I wrote that scene between Mama Bird and Little Bird, and Mama ended the scene with that question – what is it, what do you actually care about?

I wasn’t sure what my answer would be today. I just kept writing. But in the process of that, I was shown answers to questions I didn’t know I was asking.

What do I care about? I want sincere friendship.

Yeah, I already have that. But I want it in a deeper way. I want reverence, celebration and reciprocity. I already have it, but I want it in a deeper way.

I just want my life. Like I always have. Like I’ve always chosen. But right now, I want a deeper experience of life, especially after everything I’ve been through. That’s what I care about.

It’ll make me a better person, and not on some grounds of morality.

But maybe, simply, because it’s worth my time.

Outro:

What is and isn’t worthy of your time, good listener?

This episode is part of a storytelling medicine bundle that I just dropped in the Otherworldly Giants Apothecary, and that means this episode is the catalyst to finally, officially open our TIME KEEPER’S RARE APOTHECARY.

This medicine bundle is a gift basket and an altar that will help you release what isn’t your responsibility, embrace what you really care about, and prepare to take flight. And this gift basket is a gift, in that it is completely free to access this medicine bundle.

Check out all the links in the show notes for everything you need to know and flap those wings, little birdies.

Until next time, I am Shaunga and I am Celebrating 40 Years of Service, Forward and Backward.

[music ends]