The upcoming Ancestral Artist Retreat I’m hosting is about gathering twice a month to sit in deep listening & communication with our Ancestral & Celestial memories of when we lived and died in thriving villages.
This is our chance to seek council from our inner thriving village, on the sincere questions that are sitting on our heart, and in front of humanity.
So, what does that look like? I’ll show you how I do it.
Listen below to my “VILLAGE VOICE NOTE” which serves as Episode 3 in our series: “The Truth About What Art Can Do (in times of genocide).”
If you missed episode one, you can watch it here on youtube (episode transcript coming soon)
If you missed episode two, you can watch it here on instagram (or read the script)
Last night, I was feeling low.
Instead of allowing my mind to loop around in circles, I called in my Inner Thriving Village. I just said, “I need your guidance and support.”
They said: “Well, what’s your question? We could talk about anything. What’s the question on your heart?”
I let myself land in the resonance of sincere simplicity and honesty.
“Why can’t I find what I need in life?”
Alright Good Listeners, let’s get into it. This is what happened next:
VILLAGE VOICE NOTE
“why can’t I find what I need in life?”
LISTEN NOW
or read the transcript below.
“Why can’t I find what I need in life?”
Oh honey.
Instead of wallowing in this question, I shifted.
I want to make note of that shift.
When we’re feeling low, we seek support.
We might call on our Ancestors, or search youtube for what the latest astro/tarot reader is saying – whatever we do, we have an Unconscious Director.
Our Inner Unconscious Director is seeking something that will make them feel better, or feel different.
The Unconscious Director is often seeking reassurance for the deeper questions on our heart. Even when we go to our Ancestors for help, what have an agenda. We’re saying:
Can you reassure me that I’m going to be okay.
Can you reassure me that I’ll be successful.
Can you reassure me that I’ll find what I need in life.
Sometimes we need reassurance. But we do – as a culture – have an over-reliance on seeking reassurance as a way out of our problems.
At some point it becomes a way to avoid or derail the actual way out of our problems.
I felt myself for a second almost falling into that – hey thriving village, can you just give me some gem of wisdom that will reassure me that things will work out?
Instead I shifted into my Conscious Director.
Your Conscious Director is someone who holds you accountable to your sincere, planetary purpose.
Your Conscious Director is a responsible steward to the multi-dimensional land that is you – your inner Ancestral community, your shadows, your wounds, your dreams, your past and future selves, the best and worst parts of you.
My Conscious Director says: Okay Shaunga, you’re hosting this upcoming Artist Retreat where the goal is literally to apprentice these questions. So let’s do it.
Let’s put this question on the table.
What does a thriving village do, when someone in the community can’t find what they need in life?
Right off the bat, my Thriving Village is confused.
“That’s perplexing,” they say.
The very nature of a thriving village is that everyone knows who they are.
That’s all that’s required to find what you need in life.
If you know who you are, you know the authentic way to be in any situation.
You know what choices to make in intimacy, in daily life. You know how to respond in a fight. You know how to defend yourself in an attack.
You know which fork in the road to choose at any given moment.
Whatever it is, just be yourself.
This inherently leads you in the right direction.
And, if you’re going in the right direction…
…the definition of the right direction is that you are always where you need to be.
In order to “find” anything, you just need to be “where” it is. If you’re moving in the right direction – then you’re always in your “where.”
Your “wherewithal” if you will.
The definition of a thriving village is that everyone knows who they are, and the natural environment – the where – supports them to continue being who they are.
So we ask you Shaunga – does this person not know who they are? Is this part of their current soul lesson, and life experience that they came here to apprentice? Memory loss?
Are we talking about a hypothetical person, or are we talking about you?
Well, both I guess. I’m asking – in the realm of my current inner thriving village – is there anyone here, HAS there ever been anyone – who forgot who they are?
Has there ever been someone who knew who they are, but they weren’t supported by their environment, which would indicate – that maybe something in the environment doesn’t remember who they are.
Or does it?
Consent is a law of nature.
Just because it’s right for you to be somewhere, doesn’t mean it’s right for your environment. We’re not always in harmony like that.
What’s right for you, isn’t always right for the person you’re sitting next to.
Or maybe it’s like – you can be somewhere, and be yourself, but it doesn’t automatically mean that someone sitting next to you, or your environment, will support you for being yourself.
Right, answers my Thriving Village. You’re talking about relationship conflict. We regard conflict as generative. That’s Celestial medicine you know very well, Shaunga.
Squares and Oppositions in astrology – ie relationship conflict – are creative. They cause tension. But you don’t want a birth chart with nothing but trines and sextiles – you’d never get anything done.
Growth is inherently conflicting. In the Thriving Village, we don’t see relationship conflict as a bad thing. We don’t see it as an indication that you’re not getting what you need.
You’re getting a learning experience, and opportunity to grow deeper into yourself. That’s all.
And, you understand the process, and WHERE you are in the process of conflict at any given moment.
The process includes frustration, confusion, anger, misunderstanding, maybe even a breaking of vows or protocols.
But the whole process of that is protected, resourced and supported by the Village as a whole.
So let’s go back to the question – what happens if someone can’t find what they need in life?
Let’s say this person knows who they are. Let’s say we’re talking about you Shaunga, because we kind of are. You know who you are.
Are you making choices based on who you are?
Um, yes and no.
It’s a grey area. Like…a lot of choices I make every day are not reflective of who I really am. That’s true. But I do it to honour another part of who I really am that currently takes precedence, and priority.
Aaah, an internal conflict. That’s just as good.
You have an inner conflict with your priorities.
Dang! When you put it that way! I didn’t think about it like that.
You’re trying really, really hard to make this inner conflict work – verses just letting it go, and accepting your choices wholeheartedly.
How am I doing that?
You’re trying so hard to get yourself to function as if you’re in ease and flow and alignment, when the reality is, you’re in deep inner conflict.
You want to be in two different places at once. You want to be in two different places that can’t breathe the same air.
You’re ending a major chapter in life. And you’re beginning a major chapter in life.
I’m not just ending chapters, I’m ending books.
And the book I’m ending is like a Homeric Multi-generational Epic Saga that’s been open for lifetimes.
Like, you know those books that have 10 different books in a series.
I’m not just ending a big chapter.
I’m on the last few pages of the last book of an entire epic saga, and this one is actually the last one in the series. There isn’t another one coming up after this.
Well, how do you know?
Because I know.
The writer has already died.
We’re still in her book, but she doesn’t exist anymore.
You know those people who never watch the last episode of a TV show they love, because they don’t want it to end. They get to like, the 3rd last episode, and they stop.
But, see you’re a Gemini Stellium that travels the galaxies like she’s walking down the street. You read and create multiple books at the same time.
You picked up the new book while you were still reading the old one.
You picked up the Multi-generational Homeric Epic Marvel Cinematic Universe 21 seasons of Grey’s Anatomy NEW STORY, while you still hadn’t put down the old one.
You could say that your entire 40 years of life has been this juncture.
For your whole life, you’ve been in this very confusing quantum mesh of contradicting stories that are open at the same time.
This is the Heart of your life long inner conflict, and it’s really coming to a head right now.
You’re realizing that you can’t keep indulging yourself in this never ending time loop.
(We talked about that on earlier episodes of our podcast, like the one called “THE TIME LOOP” (lol) and “THE WOLF WHO STOPPED TIME.”)
You keep repeating the same lessons that you’ve outgrown. Because you’re doing that thing where you won’t watch the last episode. You keep going ’round and ’round in circles, because you just won’t go there.
But you’re realizing – that you have to move. This new book is just too fucking good. It’s taking you away from here. You have to close the door.
Then I hear you say very clearly in your subtle body: “I don’t wanna.”
Thus, your inner conflict!
You just love farting around with Timon and Puumba, eating grub while Scar does god knows what to your kingdom. Kicking around with the ghost of Estha and Rahel, shooting the shit with the incorporeal version of your future partner.
Queer brown spiritual vampire slayer, Aragon/Oregon Hooded Wisdom Keeper Ranger, scouring the neighborhood where nobody knows your name, fighting vampires you have no business fighting anymore, instead of sitting on top of that mountain in your true seat of power.
(We covered all of this in episode one of this series, btw, titled: “Why Would I Screw Up This Launch.”)
But there’s something deeper here. Something way deeper.
I told you that I have a priority. One that makes me who I am. And, it takes precedence over everything else, and that’s exactly what I’m doing.
Alright, so tell us.
WHOOO ARE YOU? (Giant Caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland)
I know enough to know that in the Thriving Village, we don’t rush a goodbye. You stay in a goodbye for as long as you want. There’s no scarcity here.
You won’t be too late for anything. You won’t miss out on anything. Nothing will deny you of what you need in life, because you chose to stay as long as you need.
Stay, as long as you need.
So the question is, Shaunga – why do you keep lying to yourself?
This isn’t your question.
This isn’t your conundrum.
Why can’t you find what I need in life?
You know exactly who you are, where you are, why you are, and you know exactly what you’re doing.
What is your actual problem?
My problem is that there is not enough support for this part of the process.
Thus, the nature of my rage.
My rage is that we as a culture do not properly support the end of life journey.
When this part of life, is what everything is for.
Alright, Shaunga. So tell us.
WHO ARE YOU? (We tried to do that Olivia Pope style – how’d we do?)
I am an Open Heart Surgery Storyteller?
Why did you say that with a question mark?
I have no idea! I didn’t know it was gonna come out that way.
Are you seeking approval or permission or something?
No.
Are you scared of violent retaliation for naming who you really are?
Always.
Or perhaps – it’s just not really what you meant to say.
Who are you?
I am a Death Surgeon.
Please, see me as a Death Surgeon.
Please, know me as a Death Surgeon.
Please, remember as a Death Surgeon.
Please, respect me as a Death Surgeon.
Please, hold me as a Death Surgeon.
My beloved Thriving Village…
Please, embrace me as a Death Surgeon.
What does a Death Surgeon do?
Well, the Ancestral Task of an Open Heart Surgery Storyteller is to repair the field of manifestation for global freedom.
She Re-pairs, and Re-Minds us to Re-Member.
She Re-members, Re-pairs and Re-minds her way back to the thriving village, no matter how far she has strayed, or how far life has strayed her.
And the Death Surgeon – is the Responsible Steward – the Conscious Director – of the most important part.
The part that everything is for.
So, what would a Death Surgeon do, right now? In the problem that you’re in?
Speak up. Speak up!
That’s what she would do.
I would advocate for my patient. Which is the End of Life phase, in and of itself.
It’s bullshit that we don’t properly resource this phase of the healing journey. It’s dangerous. It’s the root cause of every single major planetary ailment before us.
We don’t respect Death!
We don’t Re-Member Death as a part of life. We suppress it. And then it explodes, violently, in all sorts of inappropriate and devastating places.
We are not in Right Relationship with Death.
So…who’s in charge of your marketing and promo?
Anger?
I wish. Not anger.
I think that’s even something to do with my Human Design. My “Not Self” is anger.
So when you speak up. When you advocate. What does that look like? If not, anger.
It looks like…cashing in on the wealth of my rage.
It looks like building community with those who feel the same way that I do.
It’s time to come up with some truly revolutionary solutions.
We get to come together twice a month in an Ancestral Think Tank and Artist Retreat, and not only re-member and commune with our inner thriving villages, we get to design and concoct new business models that holistically resource the entire creative process, including and especially the end of life phase.
We actually get to start experiencing how we would do that with each other – not in 5-10 years, right now! We get to enjoy the harvest of our labour, now!
When I think about that, I don’t feel so down in the dumps!
I feel held! I feel protected, and comforted. Because I know I’m not doing it alone.
The very definition of not doing this through anger instantly solves my greatest problem. Instantly resolves the relationship conflict.
Doing this with other people who feel the same way I do means, we’re all invested in it. We’ll keep doing it whether we find each other or not.
That means, we’re all invested in finding each other – because none of us want to do it alone!
We’ll come up with magical, practical, revolutionary solutions. We will resource and protect the life path we hold so dear. And, We will pour love and honey and flowers all over the most important part.
That’s how I get what I need in life.
It’s what resolves this seemingly never ending pain within me, of enduring so much injustice, like the kind you feel you can never get over.
All the ways that living in a death denying society, and death denying relationships, have hurt me. I’ve spent so much time trying to find justice within the spirit of injustice, and I just don’t have to do that.
What I didn’t get in my previous life won’t eat me alive, because I get to have it in my next chapter. I get to have it again, and again, and again.
I get to choose it right now, as if it’s already here.
All I have to do is keep looking for someone, who is looking for me.
[sound of water]
That’s it for episode 3 good listeners, of the “truth about what art can do in times of genocide.”! WHOOA there are SO MANY GEMS in this episode!
Let’s pull out a few study questions. In this story we explored the definition of a thriving village. I said that in the thriving village, everyone knows who they are, and the natural environment supports them to continue being who they are.
What is your definition of the thriving village? Feel free to comment your answers.
We also spoke about the Conscious verses Unconscious Director. Who is your Conscious Director? Do you notice when you’re in your Unconscious Director? What happens when you make the shift?
I love these gems about relationship conflict. When you’re in conflict – remember who you are as the Conscious Director, and move accordingly.
Remember who the person is who you’re in conflict with. It’s not your job to define them. It’s not your job to make them do anything based on who you think they are. But you can seek to understand them, and yourself, and the nature of your conflict more deeply.
The entire journey of this episode is a masterclass study on how to move through a conflict. We start with finding the sincere question that’s on your heart.
But, by travelling with that question, we realized that’s not the question at all. It’s not my conundrum.
“Why can’t I find what I need in life” led us to – there isn’t enough support for the part of life I’m here to steward.
That’s not a question, it’s a declaration. Based on WHO I AM.
Now you’re no longer in conflict – because you’re in your advocacy.
So I ask you good listener – what is your advocacy?
I love the stuff that came up about the closing of chapters and sagas.
What about this gem: The writer has already died. We’re still in her book, but she doesn’t exist anymore.
That is so fucking deep! And it explains a lot of frustration I’ve felt and that I’ve seen around me. Why are so many of us looping around the same old patterns that we know we’ve already finished?
Why are we still in lessons we KNOW we’ve already learned?
It’s because of this!! The writer has died! But we’re still reading her book. We’re not done the book yet. But the series is for sure done, because she’s dead. She’s not going to write another one!
That part! That part blew my mind today, oh my gooosh!
A lot of us will resonate personally with this, because it’s where we are collectively.
This is WHERE we are as a species, and thus it becomes our wherewithal.
This is what we were born into, and it’s how we will die.
We were born into the multidimensional mesh of beginnings and endings.
A new series started, when the old one is not quite done.
It is supposed to be this hard. This painful. This crazy-making.
It’s our job to find ourselves in it.
We have to make peace with the time that we’re in.
For our entire life span, we’re not going to be anywhere else, another than in the thick of epic, shifting paradigms.
We could get lost in the quantum paradox of it all.
Or we could land in our simplicity. Who are you? Based on that, what will you choose? What will you do?
Speak up. Advocate for who and where you are. You decide what you want your advocacy to look like.
To end, let’s take a deep breath in and out. As you breathe in this story and breate it out, as we continue to roll with the ever-unfolding breath of our Storytelling Altar and our Prayer Garden.
As always, I invite you to speak your prayers. Speak your questions.
If you’re sitting with a question, say it out loud. Keep breathing with it.
My storytelling medicine is designed to breath in and breath out the greatest ancestral prayers of our time, the prayers of the global thriving village.
At the end of this 2-week series, we’ll offer the Prayer Garden back to our dear friend, Nigaani-Gichigaami (aka Lake Ontario) where we are located in TKARONTO – in service of our planet.
Plant your seeds, and keep your arms open for your flowers.
This was episode 3 of our series: “The Truth About What Art Can Do (in times of genocide).”
Sign up for our mailing list to keep updated on our ever-unfolding breath.
Until next time,
Be Brave! Be a Giant!
SHOW NOTES
Catch up on our series: “The Truth About What Art Can Do (in times of genocide)”
EPISODE ONE: Why Would I Screw Up This Launch? (youtube) script coming soon
EPISODE TWO: For Our Raging Ancestral Fire (instagram) or read the script
OTHER EPISODES MENTIONED
Magical Reality TV for the Revolution
The Time Loop
(this one is a 2-parter so we’ll drop part 2, lest we keep you hanging by a moment)
Time is a Heart Beat
The Wolf Who Stopped Time
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