“hey old woman”
Today’s episode drop is none other than our 2-YEAR ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL!! <3 <3
Below you’ll find the transcript to the episode. To listen directly to the episode visit the link below.
Episode transcript:
Alright Good Listeners, in this episode I have something important to talk to you about regarding these 3 words: IN. OUR. LIFETIME.
But before I do that, I have to tell you this one story.
For those who are just tuning in, this is Magical Reality TV for the Revolution: a multiverse podcast drama about a queer witch and her two dearly departed black cats, who as it turns out have a lot to say from the spirit realm.
This story is also about how I met my future partner, and also about a crazy planet who birthed a whole ass new world full of freedom, for her whole body, with the help of the Chosen Many– that’s us, because there is only one thing more powerful than evil, and that’s us – any questions?
Oh, and guess what? All of it happens, in our lifetime.
So yeah, that’s what this podcast is about. I’m broadcasting from my very own Ancestors Writers Room, delivering to you the genderqueer trancestor abolitionist anti-ableist survivor witches version of love is blind combined with how I met your mother, except nothing like those two terrible shows!
But before we get into the episode, like I said, I have to tell you this story about what happened between my future partner and I in the quantum realm just a few days ago.
Quick backstory: nine years ago, I put a big prayer into the world, calling in the life partner of my dreams. Calling in the love that I want in a partnership in my personal life.
There were a lot of things I put into the prayer in terms of what I’m looking for and what I want to experience in a long-lasting love bond.
One of those things was like, I just want a good story to tell my friends about how we met.
Yes, I know there are way more important things to pray for. But also, like, I’m tryna call someone into my life that I like enough to hang out with regularly, for decades. How disappointing would it be if we had a really boring meet-cute, you know what I’m saying?
Something about that feels so wrong, like it would make me question the whole thing. Like is this really my person? Are you sure? Cuz everything looks really good here, all the layers of you know, compatibility and shared values and vision for what we want to experience in life, but if there’s nothing exciting or interesting about the way we met…
I mean, I just don’t know. It just doesn’t compute. I-I’m sorry, I don’t see how this is gonna work.
Can you imagine? This is the love of my life. For the rest of our lives I have to tell my friends who ask, omg how did you guys meet?
Oh they just found my instagram one day and they sent me a DM and they were like “heyyy what’s up?”
Like, no. No, no, no. We must build this into the spell-work. Just give me a good story about how we met.
[music cue: “Ripples in Time”]
And the Universe says:
Oh, I’ll do you one better. I’m gonna make you wait. For Nine Years.
Picture this: It’s they year of our goddess 2024, the year of 8, infinite strength. It’s Nine long Years since you cast your love spell.
Since then you’ve somehow managed to survive terrifying ancestral initiations and intimacy underworld journeys, complete shatterings of the soul, confronted the kind of horror you can only find nestled deep inside the everlasting silence of your personal hell.
In this underworld you have successfully wholeheartedly dismantled your relationship and celestial DNA, unravelling secrets and trappings that were once found repeating all the way down your lineages, so far back you can’t see where they begin, but you decided they would end with you. You willingly invited and ushered the Great Unravelling into your teeny, tiny body.
For one reason and one reason alone. So you could BECOME the version of YOUR self that YOU want to be in a long lasting union. So you could BECOME the freedom in the world that you are aching for, so that regardless of whatever choices anyone else makes, at least you know you did your part.
You have surrendered, and surrendered and surrendered to every hard lesson the hardest planet put you through, still managing to come out the other side with GOOD FAITH.
For Nine Years you’ve been nothing but faith and you’ve been a little TOO good at it.
So much so that sometimes when you’re sleeping, in the middle of the Ancestor hour, you can physically feel your future partner’s arms around you. Sometimes you can hear the lyrics of the songs they will write for you. You can count the number of piercings they have and you can discern the shape of the tattoos that adorn their body that is an altar.
Nine Years, child. Nine years of learning ungodly details about someone’s life you have no business knowing anything about because you don’t even know if any of it is real. Or if it’s a beautiful lie told by an unreliable narrator.
As your powers grow stronger, and stronger, so does your worry. So do your WHAT IFS. What if I’m the lie? What if I AM the crazy planet herself, seeking freedom for her whole body?
Because after Nine Years, today, you still don’t know if you’ll ever meet this person. Maybe they were just meant to be a dream afterall. Maybe they were just meant to be a story.
[background music ends]
The Universe gives you no confirmation, no assurance. All she will do, in of all her audacity, is give you exactly what you prayed for. And you are just gonna have to deal with it.
She’ll give you one good story. And then the next day…another story. And then…another story. Then she’ll make you wait…just a little bit longer. Until finally…finally…FINALLY…she’ll give it to you…another story.
I know what you’re thinking: girl, like do you some like have some epic dominatrix sex worker Ancestors who speak through you, and are actually the foundation of erotic labour built into your storytelling magic and pretty much anything you do at any given moment?
Yes, yes I do. Let’s move on.
Okay, so the story I wanted to tell you: I’m hanging out on my couch a couple days ago.
At least a couple of days from when I wrote the first draft of this script, let me check my notes, so that you can also check on what was going on for you that day – it was July 14th 2024.
So, I’m sitting on the couch, the incorporeal version of my future partner comes into the room and he says to me:
“I have something to tell you. It’s a confession of sorts.”
Oh? Really? What is it? After Nine Years of Quantum Whispering your life stories into my ear, what could you possibly tell me now that I don’t already know?
No, no. This is different. You really don’t know this one. It’s gonna blow your mind. I’ve been keeping something from you. Something big.
[music: “Ripples in Time”]
Oh my god. What is it?
Okay, here it is. I…know you. Like, I’ve actually seen you before, in person. Not just here in the Quantum Realm. I mean like for real. I’ve seen you before. In the 3D. Human to Human.
[music: “ripples in time” ends on a note of shock and surprise]
Uh huh. I know. Is that it? I already know this part!
You told me last week!
Remember? Like say, okay, up until a month ago, I had felt really certain that you had only recently found my podcast, and started following me on Instagram. You haven’t contacted me yet. I thought maybe you were just like, preparing yourself, or waiting for the right moment.
And I’m like okay, it’s fine, just take your time 7 of pentacles, whatever. But then last week, you spilled the beans.
We were in the quantum realm…how do I put this in a PG way…we were getting…acquainted.
And you spilled the beans, you told me the truth. That you’ve known who I was for a long time. You saw me perform on stage at Buddies in Bad Times Theatre, that’s the queer theatre in Tkaronto aka Toronto. It was 11 years on my birthday. True story, I performed an epic dance, poetry, song extravaganza at a queer and trans cabaret. You were in the audience.
You saw me in my element, my ancestral artistry, and you knew exactly who I was. You had every opportunity to stick around after the show and come up to me and just say: “Hey, what’s up?”
But you didn’t. We could have started our relationship 11 years ago. I wouldn’t have even had to do this dang love spell. But you turned around and you walked away.
For those of you listening along at home, I told the whole story of this night on one of the previous episodes I dropped, called: “Am I in (the) Right Relationship?”
So baby, I’ve already told everybody exactly what happened that night, and why you walked away at that particular juncture.
Folks who missed that episode, you can go back and listen to the teaser of that story, on the podcast. To listen to the full episode, you do need a VIP BACKSTAGE PASS, which you can find out about in the show notes.
But I do have to warn you, I do tell you the SPICY version of the story, which is definitely for Inner Circle eyes and ears only, exactly the kind of perk you get with a VIP BACKSTAGE PASS.
So, my love. I know. You saw me 11 years ago. You didn’t choose me. It’s okay. I understand why. I’ve made peace with it.
Yeah, I know…sorry about that…but yeah. No I did see you perform on stage way back when. But that’s not what I’m talking about.
I actually saw you before that.
…Come again?
Yeah, I did saw you 11 years ago on your birthday, but before that, I saw you when I was…11 years old.
…WHAT!?
Yeah, okay. So, I was 11. I was working at Disneyland. I got one of those like after school jobs. I joined one of those, you know, like accapella singing groups.
And, we had to dress up like Disney Princes, and ride around one of those, like 3-person bikes and sing accapella versions of Disney songs. So yeah, that was my job when I was 11.
And I…I saw you there.
Oh my god. Okay, this part is actually, seriously true.
I was born and grew up in a small town in Manitoba. That’s like the middle part of Canada, upper Turtle Island. The prairies. It’s the land of the Oceti Sakowin – the Dakota, Nakota, Lakota. It’s the land of the Cree, the Anishnaabe. It’s the home of the Metis, the Red River Rebellion.
When I was 14 years old, in grade 8, I went with my family on a trip to visit LA for the first time.
Okay, so picture me a queer, dorky brown kid in small town Manitoba who told her family from the age of 3 that she was going to grow up and become a “famous actress.”
So, as a 14 year old, an opportunity to visit LA was very exciting.
[music: “Take This”]
I remember getting out of the airport and into the backseat of a car driving down LA roads lined with palm trees for the first time.
The way I felt in that backseat, I can’t describe to you.
[music: “Where Are You Now”]
Something in my spirit instantly clicked into alignment, like a chiropractor moving bones into place. I felt like my soul was in my body. Everything in me was at ease.
Sometimes you just have that kind of connection with a city or a stretch of land. Like I really, really know this place. Like I wasn’t making it up, this famous actress thing.
Looking back, I have many different perspectives on what that moment was for me, now knowing myself as an awakened planetary healer and ancestral communicator.
Who was talking to me that day? Whose voice did I feel in my body, in my spirit?
Was it the original stewards of this land and its surrounding lands?
The Kizh, Acjachemen, Tataviam, Serrano, Chumash. The Mohave, the Chemehuevi, the Cahuilla.
Was it the elemental ancestors and nature spirits specific to this place?
Was it the wind who remembers what life was like here, through vast stretches and walks of history, who then spoiled the ending by whispering the last sentence of an epic poem into my bones.
Was it my collaboration with this place, my solidarity? My friendship?
Was it my purpose in this lifetime, to unearth my personal ancestral artistry technologies and explode them into public consciousness as a way to take back how genocide has infultrated our spiritual earth-based ways of art-making, and built that genocide into our current entertainment industries?
Who was talking to me that day? Was it someone really ancient, and also brand new? Were they speaking in their ancestral tongue that by some miracle they never have forgotten?
I know that language. It speaks in deep peace of mind, and deep rest in the soul.
Did the Wind already know me, this queer, brown, dorky, unawakened planetary healer sitting in the peace of the backseat. Was it the wind who already held enough trust for me just to…tell me a story?
[music stops]
What words did they whisper into my bones as my bones clicked into alignment?
It may be the same words that my Sirian Ancestors spoke through my body, my voice, in the midst of an underground abolitionist solstice ceremony in June 2020.
We had gathered together in spirit of Black Liberation everywhere, including all that must unravel within. Ceremonial LandBack everywhere, including within. We gathered in spirit of get this rape culture off of her body, now, everywhere, including within.
We radiated freedom for everyone and everything on all timelines and dimensions, not next time. In this lifetime.
What was it that my Winged Sirian Star Relative whispered to me that day and told me to say it out loud and not just on the inside.
[music: “Where Are You Now”]
Just drop it in, sweetly. No rushing, no forcing, into the middle of an intergalactic ceremony.
Drop it in like a red berry. A small thing that can’t hold onto a tree anymore.
The red small thing fell that day into a giant lake, making quiet ripples in time, shaking the world, still not having said its name.
The four words I spoke out loud in ceremony was a translation of what I heard in my body as a 14 year old sitting in the peace of the backseat driving down LA roads for the first time.
We Have Already Won.
For those of you who don’t know me, you should understand something about me.
Those four words are written all over everything I am and everything I do.
You can listen to any previous podcast episode and that’s all I’m saying without saying it.
We Have Already Won.
Whenever I say anything, that’s it. Sometimes it’s like this, Certain.
Sometimes it’s what I lovingly like to call my “come on, guys” wound.
You know, like: “COME ON, GUYYYSSS”
Seriously, I look back at a lot of my instagram posts in the last couple months and that wound is all I can see and hear.
COME ON, GUYYSSSS. YOU GOTTA BELIEVE ME!!! Like I’m Crazy Old Maurice, tryna convince the townspeople that there’s a Beast, A BEAST just like right over there in the forest…it’s a 20 minute walk! There’s talking candles and clocks and teapots and yes they’re alive, they have names! COME ON, GUYS!
Whether wounded or unbroken, for better or for worse, those are the words.
The only ones I ever really say.
We Have Already Won.
I don’t know, I just wanted to say it, today. Out loud and in public. Whose voice those words came through during that June 2020 underground solstice retreat.
Because as soon as they dropped in the water, they let go of their mother. They had to. It’s the cost of being ripe. The cost of living.
Now those words have a life of their own. And I couldn’t protect them from that.
Look, I’m not saying that’s a virtue. The urge for a mother to protect a child from their own life.
All I’m saying is that I am a queer, dorky, brown awakened planetary healer, and I am my mother’s genderqueer daughter.
Not saying that kind of way of protection is right, I’m just saying it’s me. For better and for worse.
For better and for worse, that’s what happened to my words, that day. They spread.
They were repeated throughout the whole ceremony, in a closed community, by many different voices, and at some point, the ceremony inevitably forgot who said it.
Then the words left the closed ceremony. How’d that happen? Revolutionary underground sacred space, protective shields and invisibility forcefields, cloaked all the way up the wazoo.
How did those four words escape into the wider world, gettin’ all chatty with it? Those words were repeated in public, by many different voices.
They couldn’t forget the mother those words came from because they never knew her in the first place.
How can you forget someone that you don’t know?
Plus who is to say? Maybe someone else said those same words at the same time in a different place.
Maybe the same words can have two different mothers.
Or maybe one mother drops down the same baby and they split and get sent in two different directions before they hit the ground.
I get that. More than you realize.
All the same, enough time goes by, nobody remembers where words come from.
We don’t remember the voice, or the name or the body that words are attached to, we just receive their power.
Isn’t that the whole point of being a writer?
Writers know that words are only meant to open timelines and dimensions and shake worlds.
[music: “Cold War Games”]
Readers are only meant to kneel before them and reckon with all they awaken in us.
We shut them out, every time that gets too hard.
And we chase them, every time we miss them too much.
We come back to those words because we know them. Maybe not where they come from, but we do know them.
We know what and who they touch within us.
So we let them. Awaken us again and again. Unravel us, again and again. We let them break us open, again and again.
We fall in love with their worlds again and again because that’s what you do with stories that move you.
We receive. We send them forward and backward, in service, throughout time.
Eventually they reach a species who live here, right here, on this Earth. A species that used to be us, but now is nothing like us.
But this species, they do remember us. They remember the words, and maybe they’re so different that they do remember who and where words come from.
This species, they sit in reverence with their mothers – with us. They have grace for us, in so many ways that we don’t have grace for ourselves, and may never find it, in our lifetime.
They sit in deep gratitude for our collective sacrifice.
[music: “Constellation”]
For stewarding such a horrific and heartbreaking stretch of time. They know they owe us everything.
How we learned to sit here. To just be there, in the heart of a broken heart which is unbroken.
The way we found the unbroken everywhere, and gave it back to them.
I guess it’s just what it means to be a carrier of great stories, right? You give, and you let go, and you don’t make it about yourself.
Except that every single word is dripping with you. There’s no way you could write anything down if that weren’t the case.
But we give up the desire to have our names, voices and bodies attached to what we give, and we call that humility.
Is it noble? Is it virtuous? To remain un-named?
Or is it just the archetypal cautionary tale for being a writer, comes part and parcel with the job?
Or is it our punishment? That’s what you get. That’s what you get for being so famous. That’s your punishment. Your retribution for giving a gift this big.
[music: “The Kill”]
How big is your ego to want even more than that? To be associated with your gift? Why can’t you just be grateful for having the opportunity to give it in the first place?
Maybe it’s not right or wrong, maybe it’s just inevitable. Maybe this is how words get heartbroken too.
Did you ever ask them? Words?
Because I know them. They try so hard to hang to who they come from, they really do. It’s the only thing they want. The only thing that makes sense to them.
It’s not right or wrong, it’s just how they love. For better and for worse.
They try so hard for so long to hang on to a voice, a body, a name. I just want to hang on…but enough time goes by and…even I, too, do forget.
Enough time goes by, I land in too many hands, I co-birth too many worlds, with too many readers.
Can you just think about this for a minute, it drives me crazy, how could it not?
All the worlds words birth with too many readers who fall in love with them – some of those worlds antagonize one another. Some of those worlds are meant to destroy the other, warring paradigms like converging tectonic plates.
Some worlds are not meant to destroy one another, but their presence in each other’s orbit is merely inherently violent.
All of that violence from just four words from just one small mother. She who launched a thousand warring paradigms.
Enough time goes by, words will go through too many evolutions. Like that ship that keeps getting shipwrecked and put back together with different wood.
At some point it’s a completely different ship, don’t you think?
Do you ever wonder about the heartbreak of words? Their inherent crazy? How they keep getting shipwrecked and put back together. Lifetime after lifetime. Did you ever ask them what they want?
Maybe they just wanted to stay with their mom. But they were cursed and blessed to stay alive long after she died.
[music ends, sounds of water]
Okay, I get it. It’s the cost of being a writer. The cost of carrying some of the greatest stories that were ever told, the cost of living. That’s the gift. And the curse.
What you give lives on, long after you are gone.
But…what about in her lifetime? What about while she’s still alive? Does her body, her voice, her name, get to be attached to her words?
Why or why not? Discuss my erasable name. You’re all doing it anyway.
Talk to me about reciprocity without saying the word reciprocity. You’re all doing it anyway.
What do I think? On my podcast? About her lifetime?
[sounds of water stop]
Iunno. I guess we’ll find out.
Wait, wait. Go back. So during this trip to LA, I was in grade 8. My family took me to Disneyland. I barely remember it, but I know that we went there.
You’re saying that you were there that day too? You were working at Disneyland, and you saw me? What is that, like 26 years ago?
Even if you did see me walking by, while riding your 3-person bike dressed up as Aladdin singing the accapella version of ‘a whole new world’, I love that for you by the way, even if you did see me, how could you possibly remember that?
Iunno. I remember you.
You were wearing like, really crazy pants.
Oh yeah [laughs] in grade 8, I had so many pairs of weird pants.
Yeah-yeah. They were like these bright purple pants with like, pink and blue psychadelic swirls, with like scales and sequins.
[laughing] Yes! I totally wore those pants.
Yeah, I noticed your pants. And Iunno. I was also just like, aww she’s pretty.
Aww. No, but still. Okay, crazy pants. Pretty non-binary person. That would get you to notice me, I get it. But why would you remember me, 26 years later? That doesn’t track.
Well, okay. That is why I noticed you, but here’s the reason I remember you. Like, yeah okay, you’re right, I did find you on instagram couple months back, but I haven’t DM’d you yet, I have my reasons.
Uh huh…
But then, okay one day I was like. Oh my god. I know her.
And I ran into the living room, uh eventually it’ll be your living room, it already is – it’s our queer and trans artist mecca
Ah yes – our home on liberated land near the Earth’s root chakra…
Dedicated to cross-cultural ancestral solidarity for the purpose of
[together] great world transformation.
Yeah, so I run into the living room and Pluto and Jupiter are sitting there, my friends, my family, yours too – I run in and I’m like
She’s the crazy pants, she’s – she’s – she’s crazy pants. The crazy pants at Disneyland.
They barely look up, they’re like, ooohh coool. They’re used to me, you know, crazy old Maurice. Anyway.
No, but the reason I remember the pants is because…
You caught my eye. I saw you, this 14 year old. But at the same time, the same time, you were an old woman.
Kind of like one of your last podcast episodes – the Wolf Who Stopped Time. I mean, anyone who hasn’t listened to it yet, what are you doing with your life, but…remember the part where the Wolf kept shapeshifting. Zhhp. It’s the Wolf. Zhhp. It’s human you.
It was like that, except like zhhp. You’re a 14 year old. Zhhp. You’re an old woman. Zhhp. 14. Zzhp. Old woman.
It was the strangest thing I’ve ever seen. Never had seen anything like that before, never did again. That’s why I remember it.
I turned to my accapella group and I was like, hey look! Look at her. Doesn’t she look like an old woman? She’s an old woman, look at her!
Then I bend over moving around like an old woman, snapping my fingers, dancing, like “hey I’m an old woman!”
Hold up, hold up. You were making fun of me?
Yeah, sorry. I was tryna impress my friends. I was tryna make them laugh.
Let me get this straight. The first thing you ever did in the corporeal real live version of our relationship, the first thing you ever did, was make your friends laugh at my expense?
Uhh, I- uh-aaah…
[the clock strikes 12, the wheel of wealth spins]
At this point in my quantum field I see multiple timelines like psychadelic snakes gently entering the room…dancing…repairing something – reconnecting something. They are purple, blue and pink swirls.
[sounds of a rattle snake]
Dragon scales. Sequins everywhere as if there are two layers of sky and stars integrating before my eyes.
The purple snake timelines twist, they turn over belly up, they fold over heart down. Flip flops, back flips. Figure skating.
[sounds of a heartbeat, the wheel of wealth spins]
The timelines know what they’re doing and they do it quick. They create a version of our lives, where my partner was never separated from his family – that’s another story.
[sounds of a rattle snake]
But instead of moving to LA, he came to Manitoba with his parents as a kid.
Even though, in the 3D there’s a small age difference between us by 3 years. Here the timelines merge in a way that we’re both the same age at the same time at the same place.
[sounds of a fire, then a wave of water]
We’re both in grade 7 at the same school.
And I get it, the making fun of me thing. It’s one of those things that pre-teens do.
You like me. It’s your way of flirting with me.
I see me in grade 7 walking down Hawthorne Avenue on my way to school in the morning, and he flies by on his skateboard and calls out to me: Hey, look it’s an old woman! Have a good day, old woman!
And I think he’s weird. But I also like it. I like the attention he gives me.
One day I’m at my locker. He runs past me, skids to a stop. Runs to the other end of the hallway, stops. Runs back, stops in the middle, leans on the locker next to me.
Hey old woman
Hii…
You, uh, ready for the math test?
I guess so. Why do you call me that?
Old woman? Because you look like an old woman.
No I don’t.
Iunno. I think so.
[laughs] okay.
Anyway, good luck on the math test…. oh! are you going to the halloween dance?
Yeah. Are you?
Yeah, it’s in the middle of the school day. Where else would I be?
Well why would you ask me then? Where else would I be?
Iunno. I don’t know if you’re planning on skipping school that day or getting sick or something
I wasn’t planning on it
Okay. Well see ya…see you in class for the math test – oh! Um, at the dance are you gonna dance like an old woman?
I wasn’t planning on it
Okay. No I’ll be-I’ll be the judge of that. I bet anything you start dancing like an old woman, like this, “hey I’m an old woman!”
[laughs] Oh my god, okay. Whatever.
A few days later, it’s the halloween dance.
[music: “We’re All Good”]
It’s the middle of the afternoon, we’re all gathered in our school gym.
We’re doing that thing, where there’s like 15 people facing each other in a huge circle, dancing awkwardly, but also very fiercely committed to the awkward dancing, and it’s just so much fun.
The playlist is something like:
Spice Up Your Life
Ain’t Nothin Gonna Break My Stride
No Diggity
Together Again
Spiderwebs
Okay, quick Study Question for my good listeners in spirit of ANCESTOR KARAOKE! Go check on the songs that were most popular when you were in grade 7. Pick your favourite song, or the one that calls to you. For any listeners who are younger than grade 7…you get to pick your favourite song, any song in the Universe that is your favourite.
Find the 6th line of that song: The 6th line is a message from your Ancestors that you need to hear today.
Okay, now look at the 3rd verse, or the 3rd stanza. Find the 8th word in the 3rd verse.
That word carries a special meaning for you. It’s carrying a code, designed to unlock something in your spirit, and click your bones into alignment.
Notice what I did there: I just dropped in some numerology magic for us, calling in the energy of 6-3-8 which is my personal BIRTH RIGHT number, and it’s also a code to unlock the spirit of freedom for the Earth and her whole body, IN OUR LIFETIME.
Okay, now the DJ shifts into slow dancing mode!
[music: “if I Could Be Somebody Else”]
I leave the circle, I’m about to walk over to the sidelines, but he…taps me on the shoulder.
Do you wanna dance?
Okay.
Of course you know we’re doing thing that pre-teens do, our arms are stretched really far apart while we slow dance. And we’re both smiling really big but also trying to figure out anywhere to look, that isn’t at each other’s faces.
Then he says: hey old woman, can I tell you something?
Yeah
You sure? I’m not bugging you too much?
No. What do you want to tell me?
I think you’re really pretty. And I dunno. I think maybe I kinda like you or something.
Ohokay. Why?
Why?
Yeah, like. You don’t even know me. And I dunno, there’s like so many, I’m not that…like so many people are prettier than me.
Really? Like who?
Like, lots of people.
Oh. I don’t think so.
Iunno…I always see you with your friends, and you laugh so much together. And I never know what you’re laughing about. Nobody does.
I know, we’re like so weird. We have, like, inside jokes.
I know. Everybody knows. Everyone thinks you guys are weird. But I like seeing you guys have fun. I think it’s cool. What-what are you guys laughing about?
I dunno, it’s like, okay. You know in English class we had to do that one like group project on sports?
Yeah
But we were like, we don’t want to do a project on sports, we just want to make art. And so we made like a short film that was about um Wayne Gretzky who was like really jealous of Mario Lemeuix because Mario was like an up and coming hockey star, and Wayne Gretzky is like the legend or whatever. And Wayne Gretzky was like, really jealous, because he was like, I’m the legend, who you do think you are? And we made it into this like puppet horror movie comedy. Like we made little like cartoon paper puppets with like popsicle sticks. And we filmed it in my basement one weekend.
But before that, we were in class, and we were looking over the script.
And I looked at the script, and my friend had typed so fast that she had written all these typos, and she never spells Mario Lemiux’s name correctly. She didn’t know spellcheck or it was before they had spell check or Mario Lemiuex isn’t in spellcheck. I don’t know, every time his name came up in the script, she spells it wrong in a different way. And each time it’s spelled wrong, it makes us laugh even more.
WAYNE GRETZKY VS MARIO LEMURE…MARIO LEMSAL…MARIO LEMIES!!!
Ooooh. Oh. Okay…
See, I told you, it’s like, whatever, I know, I know it’s not that funny, but it made us laugh. And sorry, cuz like, I know that you like hockey. And I know you play hockey. So, um Sorry if I offended you.
How do you know I play hockey?
Iunno. I just know. I…I notice you too.
Really?
Yeah…
Oh
Yeah…like, I noticed that. Like, you love playing hockey. It seems like one of the times you feel really free. It’s like you really feel like yourself, on the ice, it seems. But why do you call me that though? Why do you say I look like an old woman?
Iunno. Maybe uh…maybe we know each other, when you’re an old woman.
You think we still know each other, when I’m an old woman?
Iunno. I hope so.
[music: “Curtains Drenched in Sunlight”]
And that’s the story I wanted to tell you friends, before we begin this episode. Even though the episode is pretty much done, by now. Seriously, I had a whole other important story to tell you about those three words, “in our lifetime” but…I guess that’ll have to wait.
Today, I guess I just wanted to tell you the origin story of how and why my future partner made a habit of calling me “Old Woman.”
He did that all the time in the first year of our relationship, and then the year after that, and the year after that.
Every time he saunters into the living room, jumps on the couch, circles and then plops down next to me like GAJOOM he says it.
Or when he crawls into bed with me, he says it.
Or when I’m chopping onion and garlic in the kitchen, he comes in, wraps his arms around my waist and whispers into my hair:
“hey old woman.”
He does that. Year after year after year until I am in fact an old woman.
40 years from now. I’m in my last stretch of time. Who knows how long or short that stretch is, who knows what Time Keepers before her or after stretched it even further, but it is the last.
It’s the most special time to spend with anyone, their end of life journey. It’s the most painful. The most holy. Even in all the pain, the impossibility to be present with that pain, it is the most important. It’s what everything is for.
In this stretch of time, I’m on the couch. I’m wearing a red dress. I’m trying to rest. My heart is in pain. Everything’s in pain. But I am very well taken care of. I am very well loved.
[music: “If I Could Be Somebody Else”]
He sits at my swollen, wrinkled feet. He holds my ankles, as a way of grounding me into the truth. He’s looking up at me, like a sweet little bunny admiring the Queen of Pentacles. He says it today, just like he always did.
Hey, Old Woman.
I’m in pain, but I still like it. I like the attention he gives me.
It’s like that. It’s just like that, between me and my future partner. 40 years ahead of us, 40 years behind. Everything and everywhere in between.
[slow dance music takes us out into the outro]
What the heck was that, good listeners? I’ll tell you what, that was our 2-year Anniversary Special episode. And this one was called: “WE ARE READY FOR LOVE, IN OUR LIFETIME.”
Exactly 2-years ago on September 4th I published the very first episode of this podcast, and today while we didn’t end up having the full conversation about those three words, I think I said exactly what I wanted to say, how I wanted to say it, for this very special 2-year Anniversary Day.
As usual, there is so much to unpack and unlock in this episode. Stay tuned for upcoming episodes with writer director commentary.
[music: “Where Are You Now”]
I have recently changed the way I’m organizing my offerings a little bit – I have extended this self study, global study, multiverse study campaign until the end of December 2024. And I’ve opened a new 6-class series, a space for a closed group to meet on zoom between October and November, where we’ll have the chance to workshop together, under my guidance, some of the most powerful themes and medicine coming up from these stories I’m sharing.
I’ve put together a really exciting outline, so please check it out, and join us if you feel so called.
Our VIP Backstage Pass is also still available if you want to access 5-months of exclusive episodes, bonus content and the best prizes we have to offer for fun games and contests. And I added some payment plans too until the end of September.
Check out the show notes for all the links, and make sure you sign up for our email list or follow us on IG @otherworldlygiants to make sure you never miss a pop-up contest.
Be sure to subscribe, rate, review, spread the word, and tell me about your Ancestor Karaoke! What message did your Ancestors send you via songs from grade 7?
Until next time, be brave! Be a giant–
Oh, I almost forgot to tell you my name. My name is Shaunga and I am Celebrating 40 Years of Service, Forward and Backward.
[music: “Where Are You Now” takes us out]