Welcome to your November Horoscopes. This is a special month for me – it’s been 1 year since I began offering these monthly video horoscopes!
I’m taking a minute to really sit with and celebrate this milestone. It’s been a beautiful experience over the past year – to explore more of my clairvoyant abilities, build deeper relationships with all 12 zodiac signs, connect with hundreds of people every month, and hear your feedback on how these horoscopes have helped you understand, grow, learn, heal, feel acknowledged or validated. THANK YOU SO MUCH – whether you’ve been with me since the beginning, or if this is your first time tuning in.
It’s Scorpio Season – I’m a Scorpio Rising – Jupiter is is about to finish its trek through the Scorpio underworld and is thus holding a magnifying glass to my life – point being – I have a lot to say.
Instead of writing individual horoscopes, I am writing a longer Scorpio Season letter to everyone. You can find an in-depth video for each zodiac sign as usual by scrolling down below. Watch for your Sun/Moon/Rising. (And don’t forget to check out my new astrology advice series, On the Spot!)
Who I was before I turned 30 was a previous life. (For the record, I’m 34.) As soon as I started my third decade, it was like a pancake got flipped. I did a complete 180. I slammed the breaks on a highway, made a U-turn, and drove the other way.
This is not uncommon to the Scorpio journey. Everyone with significant Scorpio energy may experience this kind of thing at least once in their lives. Something happens – usually to do with death, loss or endings – and they make a switch.
Some may call this switch cold, brutal, heartless. Others call it a brash reclamation of magic, warmth, truth, and love. Some watching from the sidelines may say this change was sudden. Those experiencing it know it was a long-ass time coming. They know how hard and far life had to push them before they finally snapped.
In my previous life, I didn’t know how to deal with loss and death – actual death and also break-ups in intimate relationships.
I would get trapped in one question: Why?
I remember one break-up in particular – I just didn’t understand why they left. I didn’t understand why it happened the way that it happened. I didn’t understand their reasons, their explanations, their process, their design, their decision. I couldn’t move on. I was stuck in I don’t get it, I don’t get it, I don’t get it.
It was a random, nothing-special Tuesday evening, chilling with my best friends in their basement apartment, watching dance routines on youtube, and inevitably eventually talking about love. What Ravyn said to me was soft, quiet, fleeting – so slippery that it could have flown by without my noticing at all.
“You don’t have to understand. The reason you don’t understand is because you would have never made that choice to begin with.”
There it is. That’s what I was searching for. Not answers from my ex. But that truth. That clarity. In 22 words, Ravyn’s wisdom changed my life.
Of course I didn’t understand my ex’s choices. Because I don’t move like them. I don’t choose like them.
In that simple acknowledgement, was also permission that I don’t have to. I don’t have to stretch and re-shape my mind so painfully, just so that I ‘get’ something that isn’t mine.
When in reality – my problem was not that I didn’t understand, it’s that I didn’t want to accept it.
I didn’t like my ex’s reasons or explanations for breaking up with me – I thought they were non-reasons and non-explanations – because I wasn’t the one who wanted to break-up. I didn’t like their decision because I didn’t want things to change. So I chose not to listen. I chose to be “confused” about something they were communicating with me very clearly.
I spent so much of my energy trying to get answers from them. Whether that was on my own, racking my brain, trying to “figure them out.” Or, asking them to help me with my confusion, and feeling trapped by my anger and pain when they wouldn’t give it to me.
I didn’t get that my confusion was not their problem. My confusion was not about them. It wasn’t about anything they could solve or explain to me. It was mine. It was about a part of me that has very little to do with them.
Sagittarius always follows Scorpio in the zodiac. Sagittarius is the sign of understanding, meaning, perspective and philosophy.
But we don’t get to understand in Scorpio season.
Sagittarius, without Scorpio, is hollow. Judgement without depth. Belief without feeling. Meaning and understanding without anything real to back it up.
This is why we never, ever, EVER skip over Scorpio season. The Universe would never be so obnoxious to go straight from Libra to Sagittarius. The zodiac would never be so bold as to grasp and grab at meaning and understanding without going through Scorpio first.
But of course, we humans have no issue with being that bold and obnoxious. We make a habit of skipping Scorpio all the time. In doing this, we hurt the people we care about most deeply – including ourselves.
For me, “not understanding” was a mask. I don’t understand was just another way of saying…
Please come back.
Explain to me what’s happening so I can explain to you how we can make it work.
Okay, fine, things can change a little bit, but not so much that this thing I need leaves me.
I’m so scared of death and abandonment, and I do not accept this is happening to me.
But I was kidding myself. When someone dies, they do not come back to life.
But you do have the opportunity to build a different relationship with them in Spirit. You do have the opportunity to feel the depths of your love through grief. Express yourself with song, scream, ritual, writing. Fire, earth, water, and body. You do have the opportunity to let both grief and love change you for the better.
When someone makes it clear that they do not want to be with you, you cannot convince them to come back and call that a happy relationship.
But you do have the opportunity not to let this loss define your self-worth. Learn something about yourself, heal, re-connect with what you care about, find greater love with yourself and other people. You have the opportunity to ask yourself, Why am I so desperate to ‘make it work’ with someone who isn’t happy with me?
Someone named Will Smith recently said on (the best show on the internet!!!) Red Table Talks: “Do I really want to force someone to be with me who doesn’t love me?”
“You don’t have to understand. You don’t understand because you would never make that choice.”
Of course I don’t understand how and why they left. But that doesn’t mean this type of deep confusion needs to torment me.
Instead, maybe my confusion is just an indication that we have a radically different, and fundamentally incompatible, relationship to relationships. To healing. Intimacy. Family. Ancestors. Everything that two people really need to be on board with if they want to stay together.
And for a minute – forget about your judgement about who was right or wrong. Who was hurt and who did the hurting. Who was privileged and who was oppressed. Who acted with integrity and who didn’t. You don’t get to do that until Sagittarius season.
You don’t get to fucking skip Scorpio, not this time.
Here, we don’t understand.
We accept. We acknowledge. We witness. We don’t fight against change. We don’t fight against God.
Now, a few years on the other side of that experience, I can say – it is wrong not to accept someone when they make it clear that they need to leave. It is wrong to hold your loved one – and yourself – hostage by your confusion. It is wrong to ask someone to continually explain their reasons, because you don’t want to accept them. It is wrong to demand them to communicate more clearly, when you are not prepared to listen.
Every time I tried to make someone explain things according to my version of truth and reality, I was trying to make them more like me and less like them.
To everyone who does not understand my decisions: You do not need to understand.
You don’t have to like my choices, because guess what, you don’t ever have to make them.
But it is wrong for you to try and make me more like you, and less like me.
Your confusion is not my problem. Your confusion is yours. It’s about a part of you that has very little to do with me.
Before my 30s, I spent so much of my time and energy hanging onto things that were already gone, and suffering accordingly.
And now – I just don’t.
But how did I get from one place to another? What was it that prompted me to take that U-turn on the highway?
Simple: I broke my own cycle of violence. I didn’t solve the world’s problems. It was completely personal, and completely selfish.
I looked at the cycles of violence that have harmed me. Patterns that kept me stuck in misery. And I asked myself: Where am I participating in this cycle? What do I get out of this dynamic, and why do I stay? Where is my agency?
And just like that, I stop doing the dance. The cycle cannot continue if they do not have a dance partner. Sure, they’ll try and drag me back onto the dance floor, but I’ve already left the building. If they keep dancing with a ghost, it’s not my problem. That’s their journey.
But. How did I stop dancing?
Again. Simple. Selfish. I didn’t want to hurt anymore.
I didn’t want a break-up to break me. I didn’t want to drown in a tidal wave of my own pain every time a relationship ended. I didn’t want to fall into suicidal thoughts every time life reminded me I’m not in control. I didn’t want to manipulate people and situations into my liking just because I’m an intuitive bitch who knows the right words to say. I wanted my body to know peace more than it knows anxiety. I didn’t want to wait around for a magical elusive time where I get to be joyful, I wanted to have it – NOW. I didn’t want to feel like I was dying every time someone I loved died. Every time something I cared about ended violently, or without my consent. Every time something shitty happened in the world, or to me.
I DIDN’T WANT ANYTHING TO END ME UNTIL IT IS ACTUALLY MY TIME TO GO.
I broke my cycle of violence, because I want to live.
Like, really, really, live. Not just exist. Not just tolerate so-so. Not just say “kind-of.”
Not just live on lands of “good enough” or “works well enough” or “makes me feel kinda shitty but I can do it, so…”
Or “I guess I just have to build more resilience so I can TOLERATE all these things that don’t really make me happy, yeah I guess that’s my role here, that’s my purpose in life yeah, to be strong enough to TOLERATE what doesn’t make me happy” –
I WANT TO LIVE.
I want to go after my dreams and know that it’s worth it, even before I reach them. I don’t want to wait around for fulfillment, as if the earth isn’t handing it to me every fucking day. As if the magic of daily life isn’t smacking me across the face and dumping joy, laughter, protection, safety, connection, wonder, intimacy in my lap as we speak. As if love isn’t chasing me around singing “LA LA LA” in my ear, wondering when I’ll notice.
I don’t want to talk about how fucked up the world is, more than I talk about how much I’m in love with it.
No, seriously – DO NOT FIGHT ME ON THIS.
My Dad said to me after he died (yeah you heard me)…
Shaunga, don’t cry. I mean, I don’t want you to suppress your emotions, but I also don’t want sadness to be the first thing you always feel when you think of me.
So yeah, I don’t want loathing, fear and despair to be the first thing I always feel about life as if she doesn’t deserve so much more than that. I don’t want to talk about how fucked up the world is, more than I honour how magical, awe-inspiring, and full of possibilities she is.
Her sun, her oceans, her moon, her trees, her animals, her plant life, her soil, her sky, her breath.
Her creativity, her imagination, her laughter, her mystery, her friendship, her playfulness, her multi-dimensionality, her breath.
I will not deny every life who has touched my own and shown me what love is – either through affirmation or through challenge.
Do not fight me on this. Do not discount everything the world has to offer you, just because it happens to be populated by fascists, assholes, racists and abusers.
I won’t waste my energy here fighting against what I do and don’t understand. I won’t waste my time here at all.
Instead, I will create. Generate. Dream against all odds. Reclaim. Dig Deep. Gather and leverage resources. Share space and knowledge. Rest. Laugh. Grieve. Ebb and flow with the currents. Be moved to tears by the moon and my own words. Align with the Universe. Listen to the Universe. Write letters to the Universe. Love the day as much as I love the night. Be brought to my knees by my future, how much I will be loved, and how much I will give to change the world for the better.
A collective will not find its way toward revolutionary change, unless we accept the reality of what we’re working with. So when fascists are elected, sexual violence makes its way to the public eye, when inhumane attacks against humans are written into legislation – this is not a sign that things have suddenly gone to hell. This is Goddess Scorpio telling us the truth and asking us to all bear witness to where she lives; to this shit that’s been happening in secret since time.
But today – I don’t want to talk about the collective. This is personal. Scorpio is not a collective sign, she is intimacy. And we don’t get to use the collective as another excuse to skip over her presence. Scorpio is the pain that broke YOU – specifically. She is what makes YOU, specifically, feel and be in love.
So when your ex tells you, If you leave me, I won’t survive.
This is the Scorpion speaking: You need to let them go, so you can reclaim your own will to live.
This is the Snake speaking: It is not in your power to make someone want to live. That is not your role, responsibility, or your right.
And this is the Eagle speaking: I’ve already decided. What about you?
I came here to live. Not to be destroyed by death, until it is actually my time to go.
And when that moment comes, I will accept it with grace and gratitude in my heart, for every creature and moment I am connected to, for the magic of daily life, and for the journey my body cradled me through.
Sagittarius comes next. Wild adventure, freedom, optimism, philosophy, big visions, a wonderful and inspired life. Sagittarius is perspective, meaning and understanding.
But we don’t understand during Scorpio season.
We do something much more important first.
We choose to live.
We choose to get free.